It has happened to all of us. Or has it? Sitting at the bar sipping your cocktail waiting for your girlfriend or significant other to walk in and join you and the guy at the other end sends a drink your way. You wave a polite thank you and go on about your business. But it wasn’t enough; he has to talk to you so he makes his way to your stool and hits you up with a good old take up line. Or perhaps you are at the nightclub hoping you will meet someone new that shares some common interests then he opens his mouth and gives you one of the worst pickup lines ever.
What makes the pickup lines so terrible? Why don’t women fall gushing at your feet? Why do some of these leave you holding your cheek from the sting of her hand connecting with your face? Disclaimer: If these do not accept you a slap you should seriously reconsider the evening’s entertainment choice.
Instant earn you a slap every time guaranteed prefer up lines:
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
If you’re going to regret this in the morning I am willing to sleep until the afternoon.
Let’s play house, you can be the door and I’ll slam you.
Roses are red, widows wear murky, and what will it take to you get on your back?
I know I can’t have your cherry but can I have the box it came in?
Do I need to buy a stamp for your unbelievable voyage?
You be the Dairy Queen. I’ll be your Burger King. You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.
I wish you were a plastic horse on a carousel so I could stir you all day for a quarter.
How much will a twenty get me?
The following pickup lines are less slap worthy. However, there is no guarantee they will work! Usually it is best to avoid catchy pickups unless your prey is that drunk.
I must have died and gone to heaven, because you look like an angel to me.
I only have three months to live want to abet me make every moment count?
Is your father a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and effect them in your eyes!
Is your father a pirate? That’s a lot of bootie!
Does your boyfriend know you are here?
I forgot my phone number, can I have yours?
Well here I am what are your other two wishes?
Then there are the absolute worst of the well, worst! These lines are so cheesy they might elicit a giggle or a wrinkle of the nose. These encompass the weirdest, lamest, silliest, cheesiest, most creative pick up lines to date. In all likelihood you may very well get a, “say what?!” reaction. Well any reaction is better than none, one could suppose….
If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
I want you to have my children, (wait) they are in the car outside.
Would you like to be the mother of my demon spawn?
You, Me, and a midget make three.
You look so fine I could drink your bathwater. (May also substitute with can I be your bathwater)
I am not the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
You are so gorgeous, I would marry your brother unprejudiced to be related to you.
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, and I have warts, so will you.
Would you like to hold the priesthood?
You look like my World of War craft toon, shall we head to my place and do some PVP?
If I pet you, would you follow me home?
You’re hotter than my daughter.
Your mom was good so I thought you would be too.
If you were a drug, I would overdose!
I don’t speak in tongues but I kiss that contrivance.If you have read to the end of this article, I hope you found some of it amusing. Guys drop the lines and just be yourselves! Seriously. It will cost you less pain and probably get you further in your quest for female companionship. A Final Disclaimer: I refuse to reveal how many times I have heard ANY of these from personal experience. Or the results.
